A Message From CBennettworld:
Hope for the Future 2025
Urbi et Oy vey
Happy holidays on this very special Sunday December 29, 2024, from the imaginary C-Suite at CBennettworld. We apologize for the tardiness of this annual corporate communication and extend our sincere thanks to the throngs of quarks who have zigzagged in anticipation for some end of the year bromides. Everyone, from our chatbots to our voicemail program to our self-serve kiosks to our automated delivery drivers, wish you and your family wishes for a wishful wish.
It has been a challenging year for CBennettworld. In early 2024 we fended off a fictitious hostile takeover bid from Bennettland, and a few months later we were sued by the fabricated Bennettglobal for IP infringement, which we vehemently denied, denied, denied. Carolyn Bennett Writer/Comic.blogspot accused Carolyn Bennett Writer/Comic.com of fraud, when in fact they are one in the same, albeit .com pays for a domain now. The dispute was settled by the made-up law firm of Bennett, Bennet and Benett. Nevertheless, our imaginary shareholders showed their displeasure by refusing to read any blogs that complained about small town life in Ontario.
2025 is shaping up to be an exciting year for CBennettworld. Plans for our warehouse expansion on the moon are in the final stages and we’re this close to getting inspection approval on our insulation/vapour barrier. We also have a strategy to deal with any 25% tariffs imposed by the US Entertainer in Chief on our Canadian products — we wil pivot away from the US and trade with Vulcans, Klingons and other Star Trek aliens. We feel this is an untapped illusionary market ripe for the taking. If the upcoming US government can tap into old television worlds, so can we. As our mission statement emphasizes , we are a forward-looking conglomerate. And right now, we’re looking forward at five construction cranes outside our window. Some call it soulless, we call it magic.
So in closing, we impart this message of Hope for the Future 2025: be generous and donate to causes. You’ll get a tax receipt. Volunteer to make your corner of the world a better place. And get a tax receipt. Do something selfless without reward or recognition. And be sure to get a tax receipt. A thought leader once said Go for it! Our thought leadership team has a new interpretation of that life quote -– It is there to be got! In 2025, go get that it that is there to be got -– whatever that it is for you to be got.
Until December 2025, and in closing for real, may we jump into 2025 as we would a polar plunge – exhilarated, alive, and (especially for our trading partners south of the border) with dicks shrunken in humility. We’re all in this together
Signed,
Imaginary CEO
CBennettworld